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Rebecca: 0, Jillian: 1

Thursday, July 23, 2009

As I've mentioned before, I'd had to do a bajillion of training for my internship. My favorites so far have been How to Spot a Spy and the What To Do If a Terrorist Tries to Break Into Your Hotel Room training. Those are the Rebecca titles, not the Army titles for the training.

I learned one very important lesson from these trainings: I am a complete and total wimp. Actually, I knew that before the training. I'm not the type of person who gets in a motorcycle accident, gets her leg amputated, and immediately starts saving for a new motorcycle. No, siree

What I learned from terrorist training is that I would never survive a terrorist hotel break-in, and it doesn't help that I don't even remember what the training said to do. Since I'm pretty screwed if a terrorist attacks me in order to figure out what furniture the Army is ordering, I decided to start small and let the terrorists have this round.

The training got my brain athinkin' about what I would do if a janitor wrestled me to the ground to steal my CaC card, hack into my computer, and find out what desks Ft So-and-so is getting. (I have quite the imagination.) I realized that I probably wouldn't survive an attack from the overweight janitors anymore than I would survive a terrorist attack.

That's when I got the great idea to start working out. Not only is working out good for you, but I could learn how to defend myself against the janitors.

Step One: research and buy a workout DVD. After reading tons of reviews I decided to go with Jillian's No More Touble Zones

Step Two: get up the nerve to play the dvd and do the workout.

Step Three: borrow Megan's wheelchair because I'm unable to walk the next day.

I'm telling you, the workout was HARD! And I only did half the DVD! I might have to put my Defeat The Janitors Plan on hold...

10 Responses to “Rebecca: 0, Jillian: 1”

  1. Suffering Jillian to fight the Janitors? This is easily one of the funniest things I've read all day.

  2. I just started Jillian's 30-Day Shred workout, and it is a tough one! Hopefully it'll get easier for us :)

  3. Hilarious! I (used to) do Jillian's 30 Day Shred. It kicked my butt!!! Her workouts are SO hard. I really need to start back, but I literally felt crippled for a couple of days afterwards. Miserable!

  4. AHAHA!!! i think Tae Bo would be more useful for fighting off Evil Janitors for job and country, but if you finish this one, you'll at least be able to kick really hard and roll away! :cD

  5. Whatever it takes to fight terrorism, right? You are an American Hero :)

  6. I had to take a similar class when I was teaching middle school and came to the conclusion that I too would be useless. Well maybe I could scream really loud and alert everyone. :-)

  7. Rebecca and the Fight Against Terroristic Janitors.... Sweetie, this is hilarious.

    And don't worry, I'm not anywhere near as amazing (she's really saving up again for a new bike?) as megan.

    And how can you spot a spy when you can't spot a man who is obviously staring at you from w/in a five yd radius? Uh-oh. This can't go very well.

    Why don't you just buy a stun gun? Bzz!

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